There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
