I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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