That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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