Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
