Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
