You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
