holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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