hell yes lets make some ravioli
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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