My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
