No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
