i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
