he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
