i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
