i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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