escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
