he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
