Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
