I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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