Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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