So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
