My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
