He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
