i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
