3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
So vagazzling was a success
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
