I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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