Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
