he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
