Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
