Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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