was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
