Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
