I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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