I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
