Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
