the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
