eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
