Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
