There was a lot of him and a little penis
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
