True but thats because hes a fetus.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
this boner is exhausting
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
