I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
