sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
