Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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