Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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