i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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