Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
