Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you didnt know i had herpes?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
