you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
