My room smells like vodka and shame
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
