You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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