your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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